It’s March Madness time again, and I’m prepared to be thoroughly maddened. I can never seem to remember which team is which. Problem is, the team names never made much sense to me. Wolverines are native to Michigan, sure… but how many oranges do they grow in Syracuse? How many bruins are left in LA? (true fact: until 1960 they brought live bears to the games). Why not the UCLA Smog (or Wildfires, Traffic, Riots)?

I think we could have a lot of fun with more catchy team names. The Yale Locks. The Brown Baggers. The Ball State Bearings. It would certainly brighten up the sportscast:

“The Purdue Chickens crossed the Tulane Highways to get to the other side of their quarter final match.” Or “Crippled with injuries, the Hunchbacks of Notre Dame fell to the Temple Jews. The Pace Makers flattened the Rice Cakes in their match, so the Jews will meet their Makers in the finals.”

You try it. Match the team name with the school they would play for. It’s fun, and you’ll never forget who you’re rooting for.

Any more ideas?